Do happiness workshops make you happy?

I was invited along to a birthday party of an old university friend last week. As always, it was good to get out, catch up with old acquaintances and meet new people.

However, this was also a party with a difference, since my friend had arranged to kick things off with a happiness workshop. These are all the rage here in France ('atelier de rire') and increasingly used by businesses as a pick-me-up for staff.

The session involved us standing in a circle and being incited to do silly things, make animal noises, introduce ourselves in funny ways etc. The routines were inventive but most finished by asking participants to let rip with a real belly laugh.

If I'm fair, the session worked as best it could. The animator was excellent (a trained actor and business coach) and everyone participated fully and freely - in what some might have found embarrassing circumstances.

However, the problem with laughter workshops lays with their conception. Laughter is a spontaneous outflow of emotion. It's not something you can liberate by asking or inciting people to be happy. Forcing yourself to laugh artificially turns out to be rather depressing. For when you laugh in a genuine way, there's an upwelling of positive feelings which accompany the action. Laughing for the sake of it lacks that warm emotion and, in its absence, feels hollow and rather sad.

I wouldn't say the session flopped, since it broke the ice and strangers felt they knew each other by the end of the hour's workout; the party got off to a great start as a consequence. However, as in most things in life, the real deal is when people laugh in an authentic, genuine way.

If you have a Young Brain and associate with other Young Brains, chances are you do not need the rather artificial prompt of a laughter coach. Your life will be already filled with fun and the laughter tears will flow regularly and copiously.

On another subject, I've recently come across a couple of good blogs for older 'Young Brains'. Have a look at http://getreadyforretirement.co.uk and http://www.sixtyplussurfers.com

Hopes and Fears. What do people really think about ageing?

Ever since we wrote our book about fighting the ageing process, we've had lots of people come up expressing their hopes and fears about getting old. It's certainly a topic which arouses high emotions!

Common debates are: is it better to grow old gracefully? Should we really regret our youth? Is it possible that we don't get wiser as we get older? Can we really remain youthful into our 60s and 70s?

The Guardian newspaper carried a piece about ageing this week. http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2009/oct/12/charlie-brooker?commentpage=5

As is often the case, the interest came from the comments, rather than the article itself. Here are a few of the opinions of readers about ageing:

Having just suffered another birthday I realise that the older I get the more I try and act as some sort of self-appointed lighthouse-keeper, trying to dissuade those lucky to be younger than me to steer clear from the rocks of addled age I imagine I ran aground upon years ago.

I hate looking back on all the chances I've wasted in my life. Why couldn't I see that I wasn't fat, that I wasn't ugly, that I really could have done anything I wanted to do if I'd only worked a bit harder and been prouder of myself?

Dunno what all the fuss is about. I'm 71 and think that aging is great fun. Usually up before 3am whence I take my dog for a 4 mile walk. Dance 4/5 times a week, play bridge 3 times a week, hike/backup/ camp every weekend, writing 2 books (already written 50). July backpacked 6 days in Sierra Nevada, Aug camped out on ferry Alaska. This weekend backpacking Catalina Island 3 days. end of month NZ for 5 weeks.

I used to shave my ears and cut my nose hair, but recently I've let it all grow into a comb over to cover my balding head.

38? 48? 58? If you feel OK, why worry? If you're obsessing about your age, you obviously aren't having enough fun.

I would say the point at which you stop being interested in anything new that is happening and constantly harp on about the good old years is the point at which you become old. For some this happens when they are young 21,22,23,24 others are able to keep a youthful vitality. My point of view is to do everything you can until the point that you physically can't. Physically many people are able to do a lot into their 60s and 70s.

Reading through the hundreds of comments, it was easy to divide the readers into two camps. Those with a positive outlook on ageing who were ready to face the battle by staying youthful and those ready to give up and get depressed about the prospect.

If you are one of those in the positive camp, read our book ('You Can Be As Young As You Think') for helpful hints on how to stay fresh, sharp and in touch.

'That moment' when you should say goodbye to a friend

In our book 'You Should Be As Young As You Think, co-author Tim Drake makes a stunning observation. He says acquaintances can be divided into two camps - 'Radiators' and 'Drains'.

Radiators are people who beam a warm glow of energy and joy wherever they go. They are life-enhancing and a pleasure to be with.

Drains, on the other hand, are joyless and life-reducing. What's more, they suck the life out of their environment - and that includes their closest friends. As we say in the book "they are poisonous and to be avoided at all costs".

Here's an example of a Drain. A long time ago, I was a member of the Junior Chamber of Commerce. We had all sorts of members but most had an 'up-for-it' approach to life. Then one day a new member joined. She was not like the rest of us, and clearly had personal problems. In a great show of solidarity, everyone rallied round to integrate her and boost her confidence. Week after week, people made great efforts to help her in every way imaginable. From time to time, it seemed to be working and she would seem more confident only to slip back into introversion and depression once more.

Eventually, people assigned her to the 'Drain' category - for she had a classic joyless profile. However, one member, a generous and gregarious soul, persisted. She just wouldn't let go of the newcomer. She really took her under her wing and spent hours befriending her and coaching her. Needless to say, it was to no avail. A Drain is a Drain is a Drain. This lady defined herself by her misery. Unfortunately, our good Samaritan took so long to see this that, she too, began to get down and miserable.

Eventually she did let go of her millstone. I was there when it happened. She simply turned to the Drain and said that she could give no more, that she was completely and utterly exhausted emotionally and that she would now be turning her attention back to her husband and kids.

Drains, by definition, drain energy and life out of everyone around and it's important to recognise one when you see one and limit your time with them - or cut your ties entirely. Is this cruel? Maybe. But life is hard enough as it is, without having all your resources sapped by one selfish individual.

But, comes the question, how do you know when its time to cut the link? My answer is to listen closely to your instincts and then you'll know very well when the time comes. Again a brief example.

I was friends with a work colleague for a long time. And for a long time, I came away from evenings together feeling deflated and frustrated. He was also very opportunistic. Rich by birth, he paid for absolutely nothing, always expecting others to cough up with laim excuses about having forgotten his wallet etc, etc. However, as a friend, I accepted all of this until 'that moment' arrived. We were at a party and deep in conversation when suddenly the flow dried up. I think we both realised, at that moment, that we were not connecting, not on the same page at all. Simultaneously, I realised that this relationship was bad for me - and had been for some time. There were no arguments, no fights, no recriminations. The friendship was just over. This particular Drain no longer had hold over me - and we've not been back in contact since.

Everyday is a Young Brain Challenge

If staying young is one of your key aims, then you have to be up to the challenge every single day of your life. This is a massive commitment but it's the only way.

Of course, some days you will fall short of your goal. Everyone does. That just means redoubling your efforts the next day and the day after.

This thought came to mind the other day when I fell short. I called a friend and asked if we could meet to discuss his holiday to South Africa as I'd like to go there with my family. He happily agreed and asked where I'd like to meet for lunch. Instantaneously I sufggested a restaurant where we'd met a couple of times before. Only then did I realise how Old Brained this reaction was. So I stopped myself and told him I'd come back with when and where.

Not surprisingly, after 5 minutes on the web, I came up with a funky African restaurant to match our theme.

A week or so later, we met and had a wonderfully original meal full of unknown spices and exotic fish! Of course, I was happy to have come up with a Young Brain solution but was equally horrified at how easy it was to fall into stick-in-the-mud thinking. Truly, to rejuvenate, it's important to be on your guard - everyday.

Holiday fun

Part of being young at heart is enjoying a good belly-laugh or engaging in innocent horse-play.
So I thought I'd bring a smile to your Summer with something seriously funny - and topical.

So thanks to http://myitforum.com/ here are some great 'out of the office' automatic email replies:

1. I am currently out of the office at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to get the position. Please be prepared for my mood.

2. You are receiving this automatic notification because I am out of the office. If I was in, chances are you wouldn’t have received anything at all.

3. Sorry to have missed you, but I’m at the doctor’s having my brain and heart removed so I can be promoted to our management team.

4. I will be unable to delete all the emails you send me until I return from vacation. Please be patient, and your mail will be deleted in the order it was received.

5. Thank you for your email. Your credit card has been charged $5.99 for the first 10 words and $1.99 for each additional word in your message.
6. The email server is unable to verify your server connection. Your message has not been delivered. Please restart your computer and try sending again.

7. Thank you for your message, which has been added to a queuing system. You are currently in 352nd place, and can expect to receive a reply in approximately 19 weeks.

8. Hi, I’m thinking about what you’ve just sent me. Please wait by your PC for my response.

9. I’ve run away to join a different circus.

10. I will be out of the office for the next two weeks for medical reasons. When I return, please refer to me as ‘Kate’ instead of Dave.

How to be young without make-up or surgery

Have you ever thought about breast augmentation or liposuction? Or perhaps eyelid surgery or dermal filler treatments? You have? Not surprising then that the market for surgical and non-surgical procedures is rising at 20%+ per year. In Britain the total money spent by people looking for a lift to their looks is now almost £500million according to Research and Markets (quoted in The Cosmetic Surgery Market Report, 2008).

But, there is another way! You can be more youthful without undergoing the knife. And this is a technique that requires almost no financial outlay.

So, what is the secret of eternal youth? The surprisingly simple solution is that you need to think young to become young. Going about your life with a youthful mindset will keep life fresh and fulfilling. A genuine elixir.

If you want to know about the six steps to staying younger and feeling sharper, order the following book now: 'You Can Be As Young As You Think' by Tim Drake and Chris Middleton.

Everyone wants to rejuvenate

The desire to be younger has, in some quarters, got a bad name. Some think this urge is about total vanity. Others think you should accept your lot and just grow old with dignity. Both are wrong.

Wanting to be young again has little to do with narcissism and everything to do with staying relevant and giving your all in the short time we have on earth. It's about welcoming change, being open to others, taking risks and having fun along the way. It's also about caring for your own personal growth so that you can help others more effectively.

A few weeks ago, Tim Drake and I presented the main findings of our two year analysis on personal rejuvenation to a high level business audience in Manchester. All were in agreement. Being successful in business, as in life, needs young thinking - it needs leaders to have Young Brains.

One company director, only 38 years old, spoke up. "I consider myself young, especially compared to others around me. I now realise that I, myself, have got older than I thought. There is definitely room for me to rejuvenate".

But it's not only business people who benefit from rejuvenation. Tim and I also spoke to a well-known millionaire who said to us: " I think the concept is brilliant. I have a relatively young brain but it is getting younger by the day now!"

Meanwhile, we have given our book 'You Can Be As Young As You Think' to two long-time BBC TV presenters, Mark Ellen (Old Grey Whistle Test) and Peter Duncan (Blue Peter). Both are Young Brains. And both agree with rejuvenation to such an extent that they've gracefully written respective recommendations on the back cover of our book.

So wanting to be young is not about egotistical vanity. People want and need to rejuvenate - be they business persons, millionaires, celebrities or, indeed, people like you and me.

Paradox is the friend of Young Brains

Yes, there is a great temptation for people to slip into defeatist, Old Brained, thinking especially in tough times like these. This has to be fought hard against.

One of the key issues in times of uncertainty is the ability to be able to cope with paradox and over-abundance of choice. Faced with this, Older Brains tend to give into the temptation to sink into a comfort zone where they pretend that uncertainty and complexity don't exist and where everything is black and white. And usually more black than white.

The point is that this leads to anxiety, negative thinking, and a general giving up on the world today. In abandoning the rich, multicoloured tapestry of life, they start to accept limitations and eventually death.

The reality is that we live in incredibly exciting and challenging times, and it matters a lot that we get into gear and want to make a difference. Getting back to Young Brained thinking - especially for young people - is crucial to re-energising ourselves to take on the challenges.

In doing so, complexity and paradox become accepted as an inherent part of a complicated and richly textured world.

Would you take the plunge?

Henry Allingham is no ordinary person. Not only did he fight in the First World War trenches and live to tell the tale but he was recently confirmed the world's oldest man. At 113, Henry says that the secret to a long life is keeping within your personal capacities.

Of course, knowing your limitations is wise advice. No point trying to swim the English Channel if you can't manage a short workout in your local pool. However, there are many aspects of life where pushing your limits is good council. For example, the chronically shy would do well to nudge themselves out of their comfort zone and talk to the taxi driver. From such small steps, great things come. Soon they could find themselves talking to a stranger in the local supermarket and, eventually, the day will come when they meet someone and make a new friend.

This is part and parcel of what we are talking about when we use the term 'Young Brain'. Young Brains are those people who push past their inhibitions and find new excitement out of life as a consequence - a new mate, a different place to visit, an inspiring career move.

I was thinking about all of this today. For the first time, I was asked to do a solo live radio interview. The BBC's Mike Powell was to ring at 2.40pm and question me about our book 'You Can Be As Young As You Think'. Of course, I'd prepared but my heart was beating in my chest when the phone suddenly rang. Here goes, I thought. It was time to extend myself beyond my previous limitations!

And the truth is that, with a Young Brain attitude, I was able to give a fairly good account of myself and, hopefully, give a nice boost to the book's sales.

Would you? Would you be up for a live radio interview in front of thousands of listeners? Or, would you rather keep within your current capacities?

Of course, I'm not saying rise to every challenge - remember the failed Channel swimmer - but when something is within reach, give it a go. Prove to yourself that you have a Young Brain and that, in the future, you will be a bigger person than you are today.

Young like Bond.....James Bond

When you think about it, the Bond films have been amazing. Going since the early 60s, the film franchise is continually updated, always fresh and relevant.

Think, for example, about that standard feature, the Bond Girl. Starting with Ursula Andress, the Bond girl has been constantly rejuvenated. As time has gone by, she has become more assertive, less an adornment on Bond's arm or a victim that our hero rescues. In most recent films, she has become fundamental to the success of the mission. She has even, in Eva Green's incarnation Vesper Lynd (Casino Royale), been giving Bond the runaround!

This came to mind yesterday when I saw our now-launched book
'You Can Be As Young As You Think' on sales in Waterstones (a UK bookstore) next to Roger Moore's autobiography!

Surely the script-writers of the Bond series have Young Brains! They are in touch with social changes and have moved the films beyond conservative stereotypes and into 21st Century modern living.