What do your music choices say about you?

A quick personal anecdote. A good friend of mine is in his twenties and I shared some of my music recently. His reaction: this is OLD music!

Instinctively I got rather defensive. No, I said, it's not 'old' music it's simply great quality music. It just happens to come from a few years back, that's all. Only later did I recognise my own 'old brain' thinking. Yes, I love all the music on my iphone and yes it is all high quality to my ears. BUT. Most of it dates from the last century.

So, what do my musical choices reveal? Is it possible that no quality music has been released over the last decade? Rather unlikely. The hard lesson is that my choices said something rather hurtful about me: I'd somehow closed down, stopped being open to new influences, preferred to live in a nostalgic past than head for tomorrow's world.

So, now my earphones are buzzing to lots of great new stuff: it was out there all the time - I just had to be 'young brained' enough to be receptive.

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Getting old happens young

I imagine that if I interviewed a dozen people in their 50s, most would say that they became aware of ageing when they turned 30. It's about at this age when last night's exercise routine leaves stiff limbs in the morning. It can also be the age when the grey hairs start to show. And, of course, it's that time when new parents start to recognise that their reactions mirror those of their parents.

It's that "OMG! I'm turning into my mum/dad!" moment.

However, social statistics show how much hidden ageing there is, well before our 30s! It may come as a shock but dreams and imagination, for example, can start drying up from 25 onwards.

What is even more shocking is that teenagers are also failing to find a vision for their lives. A University of Minnesota study of 20,000 kids found that 15% think they are going to die early. Far from engaging in risky behaviour because of invincibility, the survey suggests that many teenagers adopt unsafe practices because they decide that there's not a lot at stake. The future is already a no go zone.

For all of us, avoiding bad behaviour and unhealthy practices is partly about having belief in a better future. Avoid the negativity of Old Brain thinking. Rejuvenate using the 6 Wisdoms of Youth.

Job restructuring? Good

Friends came to lunch yesterday. Our conversation must have been a carbon copy of thousands of other lunchtime chats being held at dining tables around the world. Our subject, of course, the recession. More precisely, the fact that the husband had been given an ultimatum recently.

You see, after 20 years in the same company, working at the same site, for the same management, his workplace was closing. All the company's affairs were transfering to another factory, 300kms away. His choice? Stay and be made redundant - or follow and be promoted. So he's following.

But here's the thing. Two months into his new job, he's been revitalised. New management and new responsibilities sees this 52 year old alive with new ideas and plans. I'd already noticed when he walked in the house how much younger he looked - and I told him this. He denied it, of course, saying he felt more tired than usual. That's normal. He's started a new job and is, for the moment, doing a lot of weekly commuting to and from this new site. But he did look younger, somehow fresher and more vigorous!

And, later, he said it himself. According to his own impressions, "I feel ten years younger!"

Now, his wife is out of kilter with this rejuvenation. She's going to have to give up her beloved home and foresake her good job to follow him in the Autumn. The relocalisation fills her with dread. Where will they live? Will they find new friends? Will they lose old friends? Will they be able to rent their existing home for a few years - and find reliable tenants? And so on.

Whilst the husband has already moved on, his wife is still stuck in the past. He is working on his Young Brain. She is limiting herself by her Old Brain.

The good news is, and I told them this, that I have no doubt that once they are both in situ, their lives will both be transformed for the better. Truth is, here they were stagnating and both jobs were tolerated - not enjoyed. Friendships were comfortable, not lively. I've a strong feeling that in 18 months when we go down to visit for the weekend, they will be rejuventated, buzzing with ideas and living life with renewed fascination.

So, if your job is restructuring, if you have to relocate, if you lose your job - even in these straightened times, try to think of it as a formidable chance to turn over a new leaf and start something fresh. Your Young Brain will be nourished and the rewards could be great.

Are you unlucky in life? Do you want to be luckier?

I never keep my iphone in my pocket. Ever. Except yesterday when I slipped it into my trousers on the way to the taxi rank. Result, it fell out on the backseat and is now lost for good. What bad luck!

Yes, bad things happen to everyone - but are some people unluckier than others? Do some individuals attract more than their fair share of life's poo?

Surprisingly, my answer to this question is 'yes'. Some of us are more unlucky. Perhaps I need to explain myself.

I am convinced that we all have lucky and unlucky things happen to us. It's just that some people recognise good luck when it happens to them and make the most of it. For example, these Young Brains will see a $10 bill on the floor, bend down and pick it up. What luck! Incidentally, this once happend to me. I was at the races and a £20 note floated past my nose. I grabbed it out of the air and had a far better lunch than I'd been planning for!

But back to my point. Wouldn't everyone stoop to pick up free money? Astonishingly, no. Old Brains see the $10 and think that it must be a joke; that the note is false, counterfeit, a fake. This fact is only confirmed by the fact that it is still on the floor. If it had been real, someone else would already have picked it up!

Can you see where I'm heading with this? We are all lucky - it's just that some of us refuse lady luck when she extends us her privileges. And if Old Brains turn down the chance for a better lunch, what else are they refusing to benefit from? A job opportunity? A chance to make new friends? A trip to the seaside with the family?

I love the word 'serendipity'. It just sounds nice. But it also is nice. It means, roughly, the preparedness to accept luck when it happens. When you rejuvenate, you become luckier. You become a Young Brain and you suddenly find yourself recognising luck and letting it into your life. Almost immediately, you start to see boundless opportunities, whereas previously, you'd seen nothing - or nothing but fakes, false promises and probable falsehoods.

So, do you want to be luckier? Then shed your Old Brain attitudes. Go on. Bend down and pick up that opportunity which is in front of your very eyes.

Medicine makes you old!

I'm one of those people who avoid taking medicine if at all possible. My wife, meanwhile, is a pharmacist and encourages me to take pills and potions on all possible occasions. So you can imagine that this subject is a source of stress at home!

What about others? Take the French for example. A typical patient will feel positively cheated if he/she leaves a doctors surgery without 5 different prescription medicines. No wonder the French store medicines in cabinets in the kitchen rather than first aid boxes in the bathroom!
Now, I've always thought that people's views about medicine were limited to perceptions of efficacity and safety. But it turns out I was wrong. People link taking medicine with their age!

Advertising agency DDB recently surveyed consumers across 11 countries. They found, for example, that 77% of the Chinese feel that taking a medicine everyday makes you feel old. 70% of inhabitants of Singapore feel the same way. What they seem to be saying is that, if you have to take medicine, you must be near to death's door.

Other cultures take a different view. In the US, for example, only 39% link medicine to feeling old. On the contrary, 61% feel that taking a medicine everyday makes you feel healthy.

It would take an enormous effort to get beyond these statistics and read real meaning into them. Are the differences due to the respective health systems? The availability of different drugs and natural remedies? The breadth of preventative medicines? The cost structure?

Nevertheless, one thing is sure. Taking medicine is not neutral. Beyond the physiological effects, pill popping can have psychological impacts too. For some, taking drugs is a sign of age and decay. If you have one of these profiles, be careful about what you are taking and why. You may be inadvertently accelerating your descent into Old Brain thinking.

To Botox or not to Botox

"[I have a] moving layer of custard under the skin. Every morning I wake up not knowing how I am going to look". The words of a British woman who'd had an injectable water-based filler treatment under her skin to help her look younger.

Women today - and increasingly men - are under great pressure to retain their young looks. Celebrities are all at it - Kylie Minogue, Nicole Kidman and Jennifer Aniston have all tried Botox, for example. Here's two photos of Kylie taken 20 year apart!

And, meanwhile, in a recession, who doesn't want to create an 'edge' that might just make a difference between a job and a park bench?

But what is the cost of going down this non-surgical cosmetic path? In money terms, around £2000 per year if you count both skin fillers and two sessions of Botox injections. And this for the next 20 years or more. But if it goes wrong, the cost can be greater - as the quote heading this post implies. So why do it?

Talking to people who use Botox, it isn't just about rolling back the years. It's about staying relevant and having people take you seriously. And yes, it's about keeping up with the Hollywood set.

But money and accidents apart, there are two very serious things to consider before Botox. Firstly, will you really achieve what you set out to achieve? Just as facelifts were obvious - and, let's face it, ugly - so the 'new face' physionomy of the Botox injector also gives a 'fake' look. For example, a lighting expert in the theatre recently complained "there's no way to light them so that they don't look hideous".

Secondly, what is the point looking beautifully young if the minute you open your mouth you betray yourself as a frumpy, grumpy old timer? You see, the truth is, that no matter how young we look, if we have an 'Old Brain' in our heads, we will live saggy, uninspiring and limited lives.

So, if Botox is your thing, I say, why not? The arguments for and against are well captured in this recent article: http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2009/apr/07/kira-cochrane-celebrities-ageing . If you still feel confident to go through with it, take the plunge. But, whether you Botox or not, think also about rejuventating your mind. Give your thoughts a 'facelift' and see where they take you.

Everyday is a Young Brain Challenge

If staying young is one of your key aims, then you have to be up to the challenge every single day of your life. This is a massive commitment but it's the only way.

Of course, some days you will fall short of your goal. Everyone does. That just means redoubling your efforts the next day and the day after.

This thought came to mind the other day when I fell short. I called a friend and asked if we could meet to discuss his holiday to South Africa as I'd like to go there with my family. He happily agreed and asked where I'd like to meet for lunch. Instantaneously I sufggested a restaurant where we'd met a couple of times before. Only then did I realise how Old Brained this reaction was. So I stopped myself and told him I'd come back with when and where.

Not surprisingly, after 5 minutes on the web, I came up with a funky African restaurant to match our theme.

A week or so later, we met and had a wonderfully original meal full of unknown spices and exotic fish! Of course, I was happy to have come up with a Young Brain solution but was equally horrified at how easy it was to fall into stick-in-the-mud thinking. Truly, to rejuvenate, it's important to be on your guard - everyday.

Paradox is the friend of Young Brains

Yes, there is a great temptation for people to slip into defeatist, Old Brained, thinking especially in tough times like these. This has to be fought hard against.

One of the key issues in times of uncertainty is the ability to be able to cope with paradox and over-abundance of choice. Faced with this, Older Brains tend to give into the temptation to sink into a comfort zone where they pretend that uncertainty and complexity don't exist and where everything is black and white. And usually more black than white.

The point is that this leads to anxiety, negative thinking, and a general giving up on the world today. In abandoning the rich, multicoloured tapestry of life, they start to accept limitations and eventually death.

The reality is that we live in incredibly exciting and challenging times, and it matters a lot that we get into gear and want to make a difference. Getting back to Young Brained thinking - especially for young people - is crucial to re-energising ourselves to take on the challenges.

In doing so, complexity and paradox become accepted as an inherent part of a complicated and richly textured world.

Gran Torino : the rejuvenation of an Old Brain

I've never had much time for Clint Eastwood but my mind has been changed by his latest film - Gran Torino. If you've not yet seen it, I'd recommend a night at the flics.

Clint plays a retired Ford worker and Korean vet, Walt Kowalski. He's just lost his wife and he's not happy. Not happy at all. The youth of today have no respect. His sons are arrogant and obnoxious. Gangs roam the streets and try to steal his cherished car - the Gran Torino. And to cap it all, the neighbourhood has been taken over by Asians.

Of course, the social commentary on American suburban life is a study in itself. However, the main focus is the old man and all his growling, grimacing and grinding teeth. He steps back from life and observes all this 'corrupt modernity' from behind a shield of intolerance, racism, closed mindedness and down right anti social behaviour.

Then comes the transition from Old Brain to younger brain. Slowly at first, he softens to his Hmong neighbours and lets himself be invited for a barbeque. It's hard for him but after he comes away saying that maybe he has more in common with this family than his own people. A young Laos girl calls him 'funny' - something he is vaguely insulted by - he has been called many things in his life but never 'funny'. The youngest daughter takes a shine to Wally ("stop calling me that!"). And finally he takes the 20 year old shy boy Thao as a surrogate son and decides to 'man him up', get him a job and encourage him to date a girl who has been making eyes at him.

By the end of the film, Walt has made a big step towards a Young Brain. Does he still have an acid tongue? You bet. But it's now reserved for the enemies of his Hmong neighbours. He has found a family. He trains the next generation. He gets a different cut at the barbers. He buys a fitted suit for the first time in his life. Some one who knew so much about death (during the Korean War) finally finds redemption and learns how to live.

Is anyone consigned to an Old Brain? Is being grumpy - and perhaps even hated - a destiny that people can do little about? This marvelous film reminds us that rejuvenation is open to everyone. Even Walt.