Blowing open the assumptions about ageing

Are you one of those people who believe that ageing brings new wisdom and a better perspective on life? What if you have it upside down? Could it be that life was simpler when you were younger because you were better at living it?

Lots of social research points to the fact that the young have an approach to life which is more positive and leads to more fulfillment. For example, the young are simply more sociable. As people get older, they withdraw and fall back on a smaller and smaller circle of friends. And going out in crowds becomes terrifying - rather than exciting.

As for the wisdom of age, perhaps FP Jones was on to something when he said:

"Experience is that marvellous thing that enables you to recognise a mistake when you make it again".

So perhaps it's time to start challenging some of the common assumptions about ageing. Here are three truisms about the ageing process which go against the average view:

1. Ageing is more about how you think than how you look (so forget about botox and start looking at mindset change)

2. Wisdom is not only something you learn. You were born with a natural wisdom - the Wisdom of Youth (so work hard to regain what you've lost with the passage of time and don't think life is going to get easier, just because you are older)

3. People drift into 'old' thinking (grumpy and negative) as early as their early 20s (avoid become old before your time by rejuvenating your thoughts and acquiring a 'Young Brain').

It's been said that 'ageing' is the obsession of our times. If that's so, better start with the right assumption base.

Job restructuring? Good

Friends came to lunch yesterday. Our conversation must have been a carbon copy of thousands of other lunchtime chats being held at dining tables around the world. Our subject, of course, the recession. More precisely, the fact that the husband had been given an ultimatum recently.

You see, after 20 years in the same company, working at the same site, for the same management, his workplace was closing. All the company's affairs were transfering to another factory, 300kms away. His choice? Stay and be made redundant - or follow and be promoted. So he's following.

But here's the thing. Two months into his new job, he's been revitalised. New management and new responsibilities sees this 52 year old alive with new ideas and plans. I'd already noticed when he walked in the house how much younger he looked - and I told him this. He denied it, of course, saying he felt more tired than usual. That's normal. He's started a new job and is, for the moment, doing a lot of weekly commuting to and from this new site. But he did look younger, somehow fresher and more vigorous!

And, later, he said it himself. According to his own impressions, "I feel ten years younger!"

Now, his wife is out of kilter with this rejuvenation. She's going to have to give up her beloved home and foresake her good job to follow him in the Autumn. The relocalisation fills her with dread. Where will they live? Will they find new friends? Will they lose old friends? Will they be able to rent their existing home for a few years - and find reliable tenants? And so on.

Whilst the husband has already moved on, his wife is still stuck in the past. He is working on his Young Brain. She is limiting herself by her Old Brain.

The good news is, and I told them this, that I have no doubt that once they are both in situ, their lives will both be transformed for the better. Truth is, here they were stagnating and both jobs were tolerated - not enjoyed. Friendships were comfortable, not lively. I've a strong feeling that in 18 months when we go down to visit for the weekend, they will be rejuventated, buzzing with ideas and living life with renewed fascination.

So, if your job is restructuring, if you have to relocate, if you lose your job - even in these straightened times, try to think of it as a formidable chance to turn over a new leaf and start something fresh. Your Young Brain will be nourished and the rewards could be great.

Institutional thinking is Old Brain thinking

We have described Old Brained thinking as negative, grumpy and out-of-touch. Others use different terms to describe the same phenomenon.

I was struck today by how, Thomas Power, founder of Ecademy, defined Old Brained thinking as: Closed, Selective and Controlling. Except he wasn't defining Old Brain thinking as such but Institutional thinking. However, it amounts to the same thing; for Institution read Old Brain.

Thomas Power goes on to describe Network thinking. Networks are Open, Accept Everything, Random and Supportive. This, to me, is also a good proxy for Young Brain thinking.

So, what's this telling us? Big institutions (schools, charities, health services, companies, governments) have Old Brained cultures, almost by definition (for reasons of governance and public interest, for example). However, the world and society more specifically is evolving to a more networked place (see Facebook, Twitter, Myspace and LinkedIn). Since the world is becoming Young Brained, shouldn't you too?

Read our book 'You Can Be As Young As You Think' to find out how. And watch Thomas Power on Youtube at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S4IpLo0rKkE&eurl=http%3A%2F%2Fwww%2Eecademy%2Ecom%2Faccount%2Ephp%3Fid%3D8&feature=player_embedded

Are you unlucky in life? Do you want to be luckier?

I never keep my iphone in my pocket. Ever. Except yesterday when I slipped it into my trousers on the way to the taxi rank. Result, it fell out on the backseat and is now lost for good. What bad luck!

Yes, bad things happen to everyone - but are some people unluckier than others? Do some individuals attract more than their fair share of life's poo?

Surprisingly, my answer to this question is 'yes'. Some of us are more unlucky. Perhaps I need to explain myself.

I am convinced that we all have lucky and unlucky things happen to us. It's just that some people recognise good luck when it happens to them and make the most of it. For example, these Young Brains will see a $10 bill on the floor, bend down and pick it up. What luck! Incidentally, this once happend to me. I was at the races and a £20 note floated past my nose. I grabbed it out of the air and had a far better lunch than I'd been planning for!

But back to my point. Wouldn't everyone stoop to pick up free money? Astonishingly, no. Old Brains see the $10 and think that it must be a joke; that the note is false, counterfeit, a fake. This fact is only confirmed by the fact that it is still on the floor. If it had been real, someone else would already have picked it up!

Can you see where I'm heading with this? We are all lucky - it's just that some of us refuse lady luck when she extends us her privileges. And if Old Brains turn down the chance for a better lunch, what else are they refusing to benefit from? A job opportunity? A chance to make new friends? A trip to the seaside with the family?

I love the word 'serendipity'. It just sounds nice. But it also is nice. It means, roughly, the preparedness to accept luck when it happens. When you rejuvenate, you become luckier. You become a Young Brain and you suddenly find yourself recognising luck and letting it into your life. Almost immediately, you start to see boundless opportunities, whereas previously, you'd seen nothing - or nothing but fakes, false promises and probable falsehoods.

So, do you want to be luckier? Then shed your Old Brain attitudes. Go on. Bend down and pick up that opportunity which is in front of your very eyes.

Slow suicide: avoid new things at your peril

I've done it myself frequently. Something new comes along and I don't even give it a serious thought. It's different - and that's awkward when it comes to running my life. And so I dismiss it out of hand.

Here's three (shameful) examples.

1. Many, many years ago, I was a consultant for a big blue-chip company in the UK - Boots The Chemist. The challenge was, did we want to join a consortium and place mobile telephone antenna in all 1000 stores? Now, this was 1989 and cell phones were virtually unheard of. So, rather than ask intelligent questions around the idea, I dismissed it out of hand. Why on earth would anyone want to carry a phone around with them when there were hundreds of thousands of telephone cabins across the land? I had, in fact, ignored the potential of what turned out to be one of the key trends of the last 20 years! And all because it was new.

2. Similarly, in 1998, I was working for a company that had just had 'e-mail' installed. This, I should add was just one computer on one floor and turned on just once a day to see if we'd received any e-mails. In other words, we treated it a bit like the postman arriving! The point is, at first, I just couldn't see the need. Faxes were great. Who needed e-mails? Again, I was petrified by the new.

3. Today, I aim to be up with trends - sometimes even ahead of them. However, the other day I did feel resistant to using a 'Velib'. These are the 'almost free, publically available' bikes on almost every street corner in Paris. A great concept - but how to go about renting one? On this particular occasion, I pushed myself to experiment and was soon experiencing the exhilarating joy and freedom of cycling around one of the worlds most beautiful cities.

So, some rather embarassing examples - BUT - I bet you are like me - resistant to change and anything new. But, life has taught me that I miss out on so much if I'm not open to novelty. Indeed, I pass by everything that's fresh, energising and interesting about living when I refuse to embrace the new. This is why rejection of change is like slow suicide. By saying "no" to new things, you say "yes" to atrophy.

Live the Wisdom in three easy steps:

1. When something new comes your way, catch yourself being negative or obstructive: keep a very open mind in those first few critical seconds.

2. With that openness, explore the new idea/concept/product. What's it about? How does it work? Could it catch on? How could it help you and others? Be analytical and imaginative.

3. Still not convinced? Then try it out. Do a test run. Plunge in the deep end and give it a go.

Only when you've gone through 1,2,3 will you truly know whether this one is for you. If it is, then rejoice - you've just turned your back on slow suicide.

Stay young or face discrimination

A few years ago, who'd heard of the term 'ageism'? Sexism, yes; racism, of course. But ageism?

Today we hear the term more and more. In fact, in Britain people claiming discrimination at work because of their age more than tripled from 2006-2007!

So what is happening?

Like it or not, society increasingly demands that we stay young. Signs of ageing can quickly result in our being excluded - with the only recourse being to defend ourselves in the courtroom.

Actress Dame Joan Bakewell claimed that the media is dominated by the young. Meanwhile the business world is particularly unforgiving - especially in Britain.

"In America, there are women with white hair who are heads of banks, heads of corporations. Where are those women [in Britain]?" (Anna Ford, BBC)

We owe it to ourselves to stay Young Brained - and avoid falling victim to those who, rightly or wrongly, will judge our suitability according to ageist criteria.

A light-hearted tale of rejuventation

A man asked his wife what she'd like for her birthday. "I'd love to be eight again", she replied.

On the morning of her birthday, her loving husband arose early and made her a bowl of Coco Pops and jammy toasties! He then took her to a theme park and put her on the scariest rides - The Death Slide, The Wall of Fear, The Screaming Monster Roller Coaster.

Five hours later she staggered from the theme park with her head reeling and stomach upside down.

"Now let's have some food" said her husband, feeling that the day deserved to be rounded off in real style. The McDonalds Happy Meal included with extra fries, a sickly chocolate milkshake and a cheap plastic toy.

Then it was off to the movies to see the latest kiddies three hour epic cartoon, a hot dog, popcorn, all the Coke she could drink and lots and lots of her favourite ice-cream with M&Ms topping!

What a fabulous adventure! Finally, she wobbled home with her husband and collapsed onto the bed exhausted. He leaned over his precious wife with a big smile and lovingly asked "Well dear, what was it like being eight again?" Her eyes slowly opened and her expression changed to one of total frustration. "I meant dress size 8, you idiot!"

We are not programmed to die

I was watching Envoyé Spécial on French telly the other night which carried an interesting documentary on how to cheat death.

In the vanguard of the Transhumanist movement is Aubrey De Grey who likes to say things like "immortality is possible" and "you can cure yourself from death".

Whilst postponing death indefinitely seems more science fiction than proven science today, it is absolutely true that we are on the verge of a historic turning point in human affairs. For the first time ever, a species is able to direct its own evolution. Human nature is about to change and we will soon be enhancing human beings in much the same way as we upgrade the technology we use.

Scientists have now developed and extraordinary toolkit for understanding and manipulating genes and it will only be a matter of time before this technology is used to destroy dreadful diseases like Huntingtons. Not far behind will the the temptation to make improvements to our unborn children and to our own longevity.

Already in the US, people are buying printouts of their own genetic code - and altering their lives accordingly. One 37 year old woman, who's mother had died of breast cancer, decided, on the basis of her genetic printout to sacrifice her own breasts. With a probability of getting breast cancer herself assessed as 85% certain, she decided not to take the risk.

With a digital map of our own biology in our hand, who's to say what health and lifestyle choices we will make? But one thing is for certain, the time when we decide to live to be 120 or 150 is getting closer.

Medicine makes you old!

I'm one of those people who avoid taking medicine if at all possible. My wife, meanwhile, is a pharmacist and encourages me to take pills and potions on all possible occasions. So you can imagine that this subject is a source of stress at home!

What about others? Take the French for example. A typical patient will feel positively cheated if he/she leaves a doctors surgery without 5 different prescription medicines. No wonder the French store medicines in cabinets in the kitchen rather than first aid boxes in the bathroom!
Now, I've always thought that people's views about medicine were limited to perceptions of efficacity and safety. But it turns out I was wrong. People link taking medicine with their age!

Advertising agency DDB recently surveyed consumers across 11 countries. They found, for example, that 77% of the Chinese feel that taking a medicine everyday makes you feel old. 70% of inhabitants of Singapore feel the same way. What they seem to be saying is that, if you have to take medicine, you must be near to death's door.

Other cultures take a different view. In the US, for example, only 39% link medicine to feeling old. On the contrary, 61% feel that taking a medicine everyday makes you feel healthy.

It would take an enormous effort to get beyond these statistics and read real meaning into them. Are the differences due to the respective health systems? The availability of different drugs and natural remedies? The breadth of preventative medicines? The cost structure?

Nevertheless, one thing is sure. Taking medicine is not neutral. Beyond the physiological effects, pill popping can have psychological impacts too. For some, taking drugs is a sign of age and decay. If you have one of these profiles, be careful about what you are taking and why. You may be inadvertently accelerating your descent into Old Brain thinking.

To Botox or not to Botox

"[I have a] moving layer of custard under the skin. Every morning I wake up not knowing how I am going to look". The words of a British woman who'd had an injectable water-based filler treatment under her skin to help her look younger.

Women today - and increasingly men - are under great pressure to retain their young looks. Celebrities are all at it - Kylie Minogue, Nicole Kidman and Jennifer Aniston have all tried Botox, for example. Here's two photos of Kylie taken 20 year apart!

And, meanwhile, in a recession, who doesn't want to create an 'edge' that might just make a difference between a job and a park bench?

But what is the cost of going down this non-surgical cosmetic path? In money terms, around £2000 per year if you count both skin fillers and two sessions of Botox injections. And this for the next 20 years or more. But if it goes wrong, the cost can be greater - as the quote heading this post implies. So why do it?

Talking to people who use Botox, it isn't just about rolling back the years. It's about staying relevant and having people take you seriously. And yes, it's about keeping up with the Hollywood set.

But money and accidents apart, there are two very serious things to consider before Botox. Firstly, will you really achieve what you set out to achieve? Just as facelifts were obvious - and, let's face it, ugly - so the 'new face' physionomy of the Botox injector also gives a 'fake' look. For example, a lighting expert in the theatre recently complained "there's no way to light them so that they don't look hideous".

Secondly, what is the point looking beautifully young if the minute you open your mouth you betray yourself as a frumpy, grumpy old timer? You see, the truth is, that no matter how young we look, if we have an 'Old Brain' in our heads, we will live saggy, uninspiring and limited lives.

So, if Botox is your thing, I say, why not? The arguments for and against are well captured in this recent article: http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2009/apr/07/kira-cochrane-celebrities-ageing . If you still feel confident to go through with it, take the plunge. But, whether you Botox or not, think also about rejuventating your mind. Give your thoughts a 'facelift' and see where they take you.